This is why they won’t let me work in advertising… my twisted take on a Hardee’s commercial:

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Evelyn, a professional Madonna impersonator, gives the performance of a lifetime on the Coconut Tree Divers deck. Amazingly, the voice really is her singing “Like a Prayer,” and she didn’t know that her prop would be a three-foot-long sparkling schlong until seconds prior to performance. Watch all the way to the end— it will blow you away. Note to self: Install web cam on Coconut Tree Divers deck.