If there was an Razzie for Worst Performance as an Internet Service Provider, Hondutel would take home the Golden Raspberry.

I’ve been without internet access for over three weeks, and it’s not just me. All of Hondutel’s customers on Roatan have been broken down on the side of the Information Superhighway.

Rumors spread faster than a prostitute’s legs on Roatan, so I take everything I hear with a grain of salt (icing a margarita, of course). The word on the street is that Hondutel purchased new technology that would allow them to compete with Tigo’s new 3G service. But in typical Honduran fashion, they overlooked one minor detail: nobody at the La Ceiba Hondutel office knows how to use it. Oops!

So while Hondutel continues to work on mañana time to get back online, mere anarchy has been loosed upon Roatan. Businesses and lives have come to a screeching halt, debauchery and chaos has broken out all over Roatan, riots have spilled into the streets, tourists have been stabbed, shot, and drawn-and-quartered, and dolphins have been raped. With no internet, we’ve had no way to tell the world of the atrocities being committed on our tiny little Caribbean island. O the horror! the horror!

Okay, not really. Honestly, not having internet access has just meant more time for scuba diving and sipping drinks at sunset. That said, it’s pretty hard to be a website developer without the web, so I’ve had to pick up the slack by teaching more PADI courses at Coconut Tree Divers. Thankfully, I’ve managed a slick deal that’s given me true wireless internet: Tigo’s new 3G service has finally made it possible to make the beach my office (as opposed to slightly away from the beach crouched in the only tiny corner that gets a pirated signal from the nearby bakery).

I’ll be working on major revisions to Will Welbourn’s GoProCaribbean.com and starting development of the new site for Sundowner’s Bar and Grill over the next few weeks. Look for new versions of these sites within a few weeks.

I’m back, baby! Now time to get to work…..